This morning I sat down in my office and pulled a quarterly report from my company’s processing system.
I got the biggest smile on my face as I realized I am on pace to have a 6 figure year! I could believe it because of how much time and effort I have put into my work, but there was still this internal disbelief that I had done this by myself within a year of starting my company…
Last march, when COVID shut us all down, I had some really dark days. One in particular that stood out to me was one that Kris had off, and he suggested that we go down to Ruston way, the local waterfront, and walk around since it was sunny that day. I agreed, as I was hopeful that was what I needed; some exercise and fresh air.
We made it down to the waterfront, about a 30 min drive from home, and parked the car. And before we opened our car doors, I absolutely lost it. The pressure that kept building as we got further and further away from home, exploded uncontrollably. I felt this need to be at home still dedicating every waking minute to building my company. As we were driving; I felt this guilt build up that I shouldn’t be going out to enjoy the sunshine. I have so much work to do, I don’t have time for this.
So many thoughts bombarded the floodgates of my eyes. Is all my time I am spending on this company really going to pay off? Did I bite off more than I can chew? Can I survive another pivot? Did I make a selfish decision in starting my own company instead of staying where I was at? Do I just give up before I invest even more into it? It all came out. Tears, snot bubbles, my eyes were practically swollen shut. I shouted “HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THIS?!”
I had zero clue on what I should do. But there was still an ounce of hope in my soul and an eager heart to help as many as I could. I had this deep rooted purpose to teach these girls how to pivot even though I was questioning whether I was pivoting correctly. I knew I could help them because I had been in their shoes. And with that passion and purpose, I kept pushing.
There have been long days. There have been a lot of tears. There have been long counsel sessions. And there have been a lot of sacrifices. And you know what? I am so grateful for those. Because they have taught me the hard lessons. They have built up my strength and they have proved to me that nothing will stop me. The milestone I hit this morning is proof to me that I will do it and I can do whatever I set my mind to!
A little inspo & love for the day,