To my athletes, coaches, parents, friends and family… this one is for you.
I want you to visualize with me really quick.
You have just come home from your child’s baseball game. Your 10-year-old is as exhausted as you are from a long days’ work. You guys share a meal together and maybe a little bit of ice cream and then it turns into bed time. Showers are taken and you guys both get your pajamas on. You walk into his room to tuck him in for the night and he says… “Mom, are you upset that I didn’t get a hit in the game tonight?”
How do you respond? What is going through your head? Maybe you are bit confused as to why he would ever think that or maybe you feel like you need to sit him down for a little pep talk?
What I want everyone to understand is this is the brutal reality. There is so much pressure nowadays to perform perfectly. And let me tell you, the research that Collin Henderson and myself have done with kids, most of that pressure is brought on by parents. Maybe you are thinking that story is one in a million but it is not. Kids are listening, kids are watching you. So let’s do a little self-reflection:
What are you measuring in life? And what are you teaching your child or yourself to focus on?
Rather than focusing on how many hits we had in a game, what if we were focused on how many high 5’s we gave to our teammates? What if, instead of home-runs, we were focused on how hard we hustled down the first base line to beat the throw?
What we give praise to is what we truly measure in life.
What are you praising?
Are you praising at all?
It’s not all about the wins and losses throughout life, but more so the energy and drive you put towards life that will get you further than anyone else.
My mentor and life’s best peak performance coach, Collin Henderson, has come up with a brilliant tool I use with my athletes all the time. Instead of how did you play? (which infers a result-oriented response) we introduce to them:
How was your Attitude, Control, and Effort?
If we are measuring those 3 things daily, it limits our anxiety to perform. Our expectation to be perfect because we are measuring how our attitude was, did we control what we could control in all situations, and did we give 100% effort?
We need to measure the finer things in life. I will tell you what, when you are hired for a job they don’t care how many home-runs you have hit, they care about if you are dedicated to being a team player. When in personal reflection, make sure you are focusing on the progress rather than perfection.
How is your A.C.E. doing today?